Still Waiting to be Held

Mixed media ‘weighted blanket’, Madonna statue (metal ladder and emergency blanket), and audio (00:01:45 looped). 

Still Waiting to be Held is the outcome of a six-month commissioning project by Outer Spaces which highlights the complexities of hidden mental health challenges in society today, inspired by the Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival’s 2024 theme IN/VISIBLE.

In developing work for this project, I engaged with m/others and caregivers in Aberdeen through a series of creative workshops which encouraged participants to consider their relationship with maternal identity, visibility, emotional labour and the impact on their mental wellbeing.

Through the process of this commission I was also deeply feeling the weight of my own mental load, and struggled to carve out the necessary time and head space to focus on producing this work. The hidden layers that make up the foundations of the blanket are made from my endless to-do lists, receipts, paperwork, appointment cards and handwritten reminders. Found images of women holding things, and golden stretched hands are layered on top, held together with pins. 

The madonna statue, made from a golden emergency blanket, held up on a found ladder is a reference to all those mothers in crisis, the help which came too late, or not at all. 
 

Finally, in the audio work, I narrate the multiple responses to the questions asked of my workshop participants: What are you holding? Who is holding you? The answers were variable and reflected the everyday humdrum of domestic tasks to deeply emotional reflections.